Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
