ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
