If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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