Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize