this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
