ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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