I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize