Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
one two three fourrrrnication!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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