nut hugger
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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