ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
