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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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