I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
