best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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