i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
