sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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