...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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