I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
