im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
