Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So much rum. So many feels.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
