He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
