i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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