maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
