Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
