If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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