Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My penis needs a shock collar
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
