We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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