there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
