i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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