discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize