This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
