all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
