Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
