Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
