in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
