had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
