...so i touched it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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