I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
