i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
