so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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