If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
