She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
