If i could tip my vagina, i would.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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