i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
