You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
