this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
