I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize