dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
