hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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