O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
