I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize