There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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