Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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