pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
