I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize