brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
