i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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