Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
