I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
