I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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