I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize