listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize